I ran into a couple of turistas today. They were in a large RV, taking up a dozen parking spaces at a store I had to make a quick stop at. I’d like to say that I don’t enjoy making jokes of the Recreational Vampires, but it’s great fun, so it would be a lie if I did actually say such a thing.
They chatted me up a bit because I was driving the Beetle today. As luck would have it, they, of course, used to own one.

Me: “How long are you in Fairbanks?”
Turistas: “We’re going up to Prudhoe Bay; that’s where Alaska’s oil comes from.”
Me: “Yes, I’m familiar with Prudhoe Bay.”
Turistas: “But we’ll be back in time for the fireworks.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Turistas: “The Fourth of July! We’ll be back in Fairbanks for that.”
Me: “Fairbanks doesn’t do fireworks for the Fourth.”
Turistas: “Of course they do! Who ever heard of a town not having Fourth of July Fireworks?!”
Me: “Every town north of Anchorage.”
Turistas: “That makes no sense. Surely you have fireworks. When would you do them if not July Fourth?”
Me: “New Years.”
Then I promptly walked away as quickly as I could without actually running.