Daily Archives: 3 November 2013

Tidbits from the Dutch Harbor Telegraph

cookie-monster

Police Blotter:
Suspicious Activity—

“The middle-aged man with a large plate of cookies was spotted again, engaged once more in the dodgy act of giving away cookies and drinks. An officer this time located the culprit, and determined his random acts of kindness were simply a means to dispose of leftover snacks prepared for a corporate meeting.”

Editorial:
“The mountain formerly known as Cleveland Volcano….”

Some people have objected to (The Telegraph’s) arrogance in deciding to call the mountain by its old name, Chuginadak. As if the Telegraph is this powerful steamroller that flattens everything in it’s way. “Cleveland Volcano” is an awkward name….and Grover Cleveland never saw it. He’s got a city in Ohio named after him. Isn’t that enough? The Telegraph will continue to call the mountain Chuginadak or else “the mountain formerly known as Cleveland Volcano.”

Infantile:

Alaska tops nation for neonatal and infant survival rates

Alaska’s neonatal survival rate dropped to an all-time low of 1.92 deaths per 1000 live births, the best in the USA. This according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.
The state’s infant mortality rate of 3.75 deaths per 1000 live births is also the lowest in the nation.

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